There’s a lot of news about boys this week, so I’m going to keep this part short. And ask you a question:

I’m trying to figure out how to deliver the most value to you while still, you know, retaining my sanity, some free time, and work-life balance.

Here’s to building boys!
Jen

P.S. I’m also curious: Which topics for news stories do you find most interesting? What do you find yourself clicking on, and which ones do you look at & think “enough already!”?

IN THE NEWS

Why Boys & Men are Floundering, According to the Relational Therapist Terry Real

Highlights:

• “The way we traditionally ‘turn boys into men’ is we teach them to disconnect — disconnect from vulnerability, disconnect from their feelings, disconnect from others.”

• “The consequence of a disconnected boy is a disconnected man.”

• “A boy’s question of the world is: What have you got for me? It’s gratification. What have you got? What have you got for me? A man’s question of the world is: What do you need?”

Five-Decade Study: Black Girls Build on Preschool Success, While Black Boys Struggle on Some Measures

Highlights:

• “Both boys and girls in the early education intervention group showed significant gains through their elementary, middle and high school years...But while Black women continued to build on those cognitive gains into adulthood, the progress of Black men stalled out."

• “When boys hit adolescence they face some rocks in the road that are maybe different from what girls face”

• “Not only is there a dearth of programs equipped to support Black boys, but federal officials are actively eliminating the best of those programs’ practices.”

Why Thru-Hikers are a Lot Like Middle School Boys

Highlights:

• “They have goofy nicknames....Just like ours, these monikers are (usually) lovingly bestowed, and by the time graduation rolls around, it’s entirely possible to have forgotten their real names.”

• “They’re problem-solvers. There’s no project a middle school boy can’t complete with a glue stick, scissors, and a roll of duct tape...We could learn a lot from these tiny MacGyvers.”

• “They smell bad...Like us, however, they should not be blamed for living their unbridled, odiferous lives.”

What “Touch Starvation” Does to Boys - & How Parents Can Help

Highlights:

• “Despite the clear benefits of physical affection... American culture as a whole is touch starved. For boys, this issue is compounded by rigid ideas about masculinity that discourage emotional and physical closeness.”

• “When boys don’t receive the essential human touch they need for healthy development... they may seek it in less appropriate—and sometimes more aggressive—ways.”

• “An easy rule of thumb: there is no limit to the amount of positive touch a parent can provide their son.” [Except your son’s tolerance & comfort!]

The Democrat’s 20-Million-Dollar Man Problem

Highlights:

• “If there is one thing that they all have in common, it is that manosphere influencers approached young men from a perceived place of love and affection. 'I like you,’ was the message. 'I want you to live a good life. Let me show you how.’”

• “The answer to the manosphere’s dark turn is rooted in embracing men with sincere affection, shunning the zero-sum calculus of the gender wars and offering a vision of masculine virtue that inspires men to heroic acts of compassion rather than vicious acts of aggression.”

• “America doesn’t need a left-wing version of Joe Rogan. What it needs is our parents, pastors, teachers and coaches to fill the void in young men’s hearts.”

• “Our sons should not have to turn to books or podcasts or social media to hear this simple and powerful message: I like you. I want you to live a good life. Let me show you how.”

Can We Reclaim “Mama’s Boy?”

Highlights:

• Moms are “caught between a rock and a hard place: if they keep him close and their son is a 'mama’s boy’, he’ll be a target of ridicule, if they push him away, it’s just perpetuating the patriarchal system. It’s a classic double-bind.”

• “Being reliably responsive and affectionate with your children, regardless of their gender, helps them form secure attachments. Secure attachments allow children to be MORE independent”

• “Maybe it’s time to stop using 'mama’s boy' to describe unhealthy mother-son relationships...After all, it’s not the fact that a son has a relationship with his mother that’s a problem, it’s the fact that the relationship is not healthy.”

From the “Liver King” to Ultramarathons, Fitness Influencers are Glorifying Extreme Masculinity Where “The Pain is the Point”

Highlights:

• The health risks “are very real. They range from hormone damage, to mental and physical decline, to injury, and even death.”

• "There is also a deeper ideological harm, as young men are fed a narrow and punishing idea of what it means to be a man. They are taught pain equals purpose, and that if you’re not suffering, you’re not trying.”

• “Extreme fitness influencers aren’t just poor role models; they’re the product of a system that profits from insecurity and spectacle.”

How the Rise of Instagram & TikTok Fitness Gymfluencers Became a “Danger” for Young Boys

Highlights:

• “Linger on one Instagram reel showing off a set of dumbbell exercises, and you'll likely get five more videos zeroing in on how to get 'boulder shoulders', or some protein-heavy diet advice from a shirtless influencer.”

• "The toxic, maybe unhealthy, part of it is that there are so many different kinds of bodies that a teenage boy would have, and they're all being channelled into this one kind of mould of what the body of a disciplined person looks like"

• “At a recent barbecue, Danni Rowlands bent an ear toward a conversation her 10-year-old son was having with a few boys his age. ‘They were looking at each other's calves and deciding who had the veins popping out... One was saying 'here's my six-pack'."

“Bigorexia” is On the Rise. Here’s What Parents Should Know

Highlights:

• "The overemphasis on an idealized physical appearance in media and advertising is particularly harmful for younger boys, who might not fully appreciate that influencers and celebrities actually make their livelihood off images of their bodies.”

• “I’ve been having conversations with my 9-year-old son like, ‘Let’s read what Hugh Jackman said about what he had to do to transform into Wolverine and look like this’”

Why Boys are Behind in School From the Start

Highlights:

• “Boys tend to mature later...especially when it comes to executive function — skills like paying attention, regulating emotions and inhibiting inappropriate behaviors.”

• “Childhood has changed in recent years in ways that could have set back boys further.”

• “Researchers at the University of Virginia compared kindergarten in 2010 and 1998....The share who said students should learn to read in kindergarten increased to 80 percent from 31 percent.”

• “Boys are just as capable, but we don’t provide them with the means to show this.”

• “A powerful way to help boys — and girls too — is to bring back more play into the early years of school, because it’s how young children learn best”

What Should We Focus on Regarding Social Media & Our Teenage Sons?

Highlights:

• “Before we try to fix what we think is broken in our teenage sons, it is imperative that we, as parents, take a look in the mirror first.”

• “Do what you can to promote in-person interactions for your teenage son. Allow him a little freedom to go out and be with his friends in person. Spend time as a family engaging in activities. Spend time with your own friends in person and model in person activities.”

Young Men are Binge Drinking Less Than Young Women for the 1st Time. What’s Going On?

Highlights:

• “All young adults were drinking less between 2021 and 2023, compared with the 2017-19 period, according to the study. Young women were binge drinking 13% less, but young men saw an even bigger drop — nearly 21%.”

• “Are young people happy, socially connected and drinking less, or is it that middle-aged and young men are more lonely, less social and less willing to call up a friend for drinks?”

• “Many influential (and, in some cases, controversial) male podcasters with large followings of young men are sober and vocal about it: Joe Rogan, Theo Von and Andrew Huberman, for example”

Playing Fortnite Linked to Stronger Peer Relationships in Boys

Highlights:

• “Clash of Clans, a strategic game with team-based elements, was associated with more appropriate social behaviors and stronger peer relationships.”

• “Fortnite, which involves online collaboration and competition, also appeared to improve relationships with peers.”

• “Mortal Kombat, known for its violent one-on-one combat, was linked to higher levels of aggression and antisocial behavior compared to the other games studied.”

• “Playing time predicted social outcomes more strongly than game type. In other words, the longer a student played, the more likely they were to experience changes—positive or negative—in their social behavior.”

(For what it’s worth, I wrote this blog post — Fortnite is Not a Waste of Time — in 2018)